Balanced Life

As I get nearer to graduation (still 6 months away), everybody keeps asking me what my plans are for later. I think every graduate is asked that question countless times, and I ask graduating students the same thing. I ask others because a lot of people have planned ahead. Some don't plan ahead, some plan ahead 6 months, and others the next 10 years.

My life has taken so many unexpected turns, it doesn't seem like it would've mattered if I "planned" six months in advance. I know God is in control, and he places me where he wants me. I know what my part is, and it's not to be lazy or indifferent. It's in my power to open doors and walk through them. It's my responsibility to pray and listen for God's leading, and to follow up on opportunities that interest me. But before committing, I must look to God for the OK. I have a lot of passions and things I'd like to do, but most of all, I enjoy the unexpected turn of events God brings me into. I like the uncertainty, I like flying by the seat of my pants. God plans ahead the way he wants me to go, and I don't want to inhibit that too much by structuring my life by my own will.

When an opportunity arises that I want to pursue, I'll pursue it. God has been faithful to guide my steps and open the doors he wants me to walk through, and also to close the doors he doesn't want me to walk through. In uncertain times, I let "planning" take over - whatever seems like the best option and fulfilling to my purpose in life, as I understand it.

So, here's the gist of it. Why are people so concerned when I tell them I have no idea what I want to do once I'm out of college? To me, this just means I'm open to so many more things God might have planned for me. I don't even know what I really like doing, but God knows better than me. He wired me, he places in me the desires of my heart, and he has a plan. It's my pleasure to follow that plan. In my experience, God usually waits till the last minute to reveal what he's going to do next in my life. it's this expectation and eagerness to see what he has planned that gives excitement to my life, and I don't want to spoil the surprise. I let God lead me where He wants me and light my path, because of this, I'm confident I won't miss out on His gifts and blessings.

Mind Over Matter?

Since the beginning of the month, I've been feeling worse and worse each day. I attribute most of it to a faith-challenging event (that's been somewhat resolved) and struggles in my Anatomy & Physiology course. Long story short, that class has driven me straight into the ground and, though I enjoy the material, I've failed when it comes to taking quizzes and exams because I "didn't study the right way" - the prof says.

All that to say, I've tried many methods in just the last two or so weeks to "brighten things up" or make myself happy. Granted, I'm usually quite pessimistic, but in this case, i can't do anything to encourage myself. Most everyday, after I've studied endlessly for this class, I go home frustrated and irritated. Each day it seems worse. Even turning to God, praying, trying to worship, being around Christians, having God-conversations, having regular conversations, etc. aren't enough to make me feel valued.

So what do you do when no matter what you do, you're depressed? When you don't want to do anything - not even talk to God - how can you be encouraged? After you failed at everything you promised yourself you'd be good at, what causes you to find value still in yourself? The Bible says that God values us, not on our actions, but because he wants to, because he created us for his joy. We are his children. I am saved! That should be enough to encourage me, but it's not. Joyce Meyers preaches a Mind over Matter type living that I think is ludicrous. Of course, that might just be because I can't do it. Thinking positively just feels unnatural during these times because I'm ignoring my true feelings, which should be dealt with. But how do you deal with them in a healthy manner when nothing "Godly" seems to work?

Does God sometimes just abandon us to our problems to teach us a lesson? He may know that it won't break my faith, so he lets me suffer to teach me humility - is that it? funny how life can throw curve balls just when you think you're safe. What keeps a person in control? Why can't some people be self-controlled? What do we make of these things that seem out of control? Where is God in that?

Secular Hypocrisy

Something came to my mind today and it started with a conversation. A conversation I had with a friend of mine caused me to think about sex offenders in our country. they are regarded with disdain and considered outcast, mentally ill, and unwelcome people. Somehow most Americans think rapists or perverts are special case, messed up people ... diseased. I don't contradict that these people need help or that they have done something despicable and deserving of punishment.

Here's my issue though. Most Americans, including myself, believe sex offenders should control their desires because they are most likely unwelcome. When they cave in, we curse them for it - and rightly so. But flip the coin and you find most Americans condoning sex outside of marriage, even for teens. In my experience, most sexually active individuals, when asked why they didn't wait for marriage, said they simply couldn't help it. A typical response goes like this: "It's the way we are. We are sexually charged creatures and to not have sex would cause us to probably explode in agony." So what about the people who can't get laid and are forced, by their sexual nature, to engage in unwelcome sexual acts. they too are sexual, but maybe nobody will sleep with them. We accept two people who mutually can't control their sexual desires, but we condemn the one who cannot when he takes advantage of one who can. There's a duality here in our culture.

To be clear, I don't condone any sort of sexual deviancy. I believe we all have the ability to control our desires, but that ability comes from Christ through discipline and sound decision making. My opinion on mutual sex outside of marriage is also that we should control our desires. If we force sex offenders to control their desires (whether natural or perverse), we must also be able to control ours ... and that's what I believe. So enough calling Christians hypocrites, we're all hypocrites - get over it and start relying on the Truth for help.

Go with the Flow

As I near the end of my internship, and look forward to my last year in college, I have finally begun thinking - what do I want to do? I enjoy the design process of engineering, and solving problems in a unique way. I'm pretty sure I'll go into some field of electrical engineering when I get out of college, but where? and doing what? - only God knows. That's what I trust. God knows where He wants to put me and when. It's my responsibility to search for that and follow Him the best I can. If my heart's in the right place, he'll make sure I don't miss his calling.

I can't help but wonder, what happens after that? I don't think I'll be happy being an electrical engineer my whole life. I may be called to ministry. That may sound cliche, but when the Holy Spirit prompts me to do something, i won't ignore it. Besides, I kind of want to preach and shepherd. Not for power or money like some people, but because God has given me a burden for people many Christians have cast away. I love to relate to people and converse about all sorts of things. I believe God will use the gifts he's given me for His purposes. Anyways, life is an adventure, and I can't wait to see what God has in store!

Friendship Forever

Is it just me? Since I can remember, I've always wanted to be friends with just about everybody. I place so much value in my friends that I often sacrifice sleep and relaxation for the chance to spend one-on-one time with people, no matter how good of friends we are. In fact, I will usually sacrifice more for people i don't know very well because I want so badly to get to know 'em. I realized a long time ago that I'm a special case. Generally speaking, most people are concerned only about themselves. "Does it work out with my schedule?" "My ninth hour of sleep is more important." "We're not really good friends." "I have more important things to do, like watch tv."

I want so much to impact the lives of people around me, bringing the joy of Christ and the laughter of friendship into everybody's life. A lot of people are way too high strung. Every minute of the day has to be spent getting something done, accomplishing goals, or furthering whatever desire they have. where does that leave you though? Ten years from now, will it make a difference if you went to the store right now, or got that one homework assignment done, or picked up that extra shift at work? I know these seem like huge cares in many people's lives, but for many, its just because they're greedy or proud.

What really matters, is people. Jesus came for one purpose, to save the lost! His whole ministry was spent loving others, not getting money; teaching his disciples, not solving the world's problems. In fact, I believe the world's problems will be solved - not by human efforts - but by a total change in priorities. When people's hearts go from doing tasks to loving God and loving people, I think the tasks will naturally get done. And if they don't, at least we can be a witness to people about Christ. should we help the helpless and needy? Of course! But do it in love, not our of obligation or with a sense of pride.

Finally, I have this to say. I still think about so many of my friends who have been in my life and are no longer. I know some people have no problem assigning them to "that season in my life." But I can't do that; I want to stay friends. When I try to write people off like that, I find myself continually going back and asking myself, "Could I have kept being their friend, and what would've possibly changed if I had?"

- Austin in Seattle

Missions for the People

Last night I attended my church in Seattle. Our senior pastor brought in a fellow who has been leading short-term missions trips all around the world. For 20 minutes he encouraged us to join him on his short term trips, convincing us with all enthusiasm how spectacular they are. how much we'll grow and how we can change the world, gain new perspective on the world, grow in God, etc. I've been fed the importance of short-term missions trips since I was in junior high.

Last night, one of my friends brought this up in casual conversation and expressed a viewpoint completely opposite and contradictory. Throughout this pastor's "sales pitch" for cookie cutter missions, she was becoming more and more enraged - well, maybe I shouldn't say enraged - she became very agitated and offended at what this pastor was trying to sell. God has given her a heart to bridge the gap between cultures through relationships and culture identification and so forth. She's entirely convinced this can't be pulled off in 10 days, and I agree with her. What really is the effect of a 10-day missions trip to S. Africa? Often times, the people who went to bless come back blessed themselves, but what actually happened to that culture? The group went down, performed a few dramas and handed out a few pamphlets or books, but did they change anyone's life? did they plant a church? did they raise up a leader. Of course not, they were only there for 10 days.

So what should we do? Perhaps there should be a call to long-term missions. Perhaps we should lay a hold of sending people to build churches and build leaders. Think about the culture into which we are going. How do they see us? My friend said short-term missions to her is like going to a people and spitting the gospel at them. I happen to think she's not too far off.

What should the church's response be to this? What's YOUR response? Is there a place for short-term missions or should we try to move away from them entirely?