Sunday, February 22, 2009
Changes
Changes in the circumstances of life are inevitable. Some are expected, some are not. Tonight my church held a meeting for the whole congregation wherein the pastoral staff shared that through much prayer and heartache, our senior pastor would be stepping down to continue following God's call in his life. One of our two associate pastors received a similar call to step down. The senior pastor isn't quite sure yet where God is leading him, but the other will be heading to Alabama to attend seminary. Our new head pastor is a man from the States, currently pastoring in Edinburgh. Everything lined up so that there could be no mistake this is the will of God, and though I'm excited for the changes that'll come about, I'm also sad to see good friends go. However, it's possible that I'll be leaving Seattle in the near future as well, and I'm afraid that will be a tremendously harder life change.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Getting Personal
So, I have another blog (that's private) so i can journal about things possibly too personal to share with just anyone who cares to read my public blog, but this particular one I just want to throw out there.
Last night (Sunday, 15-Feb '09) I worked my shift at the Boxcar Alehouse as usual till about 11pm or so. I joined some friends playing wii and drinking beer, and we had a good time. Around midnight, I was casually chatting with a guy who I've only known for about a month. it happened very naturally, and I'm not even sure how, but as we were talking this guy started opening up (he'd had a bit to drink, so that helps) and he shared really personal things about his life. Now, I could've broken the conversation and played wii, but for God's sake I wanted to listen to him talk.
I remembered, then, why I took this job, working at a bar, and it has nothing to do with selling booze or being around "sin" or having fun without God (like some people assume or accuse me of). I took this job so I could be among sinners without a Savior, so I could be a beacon of light and truth as Christ calls us to be in the gospels, so maybe - JUST MAYBE - some might be saved. What really matters in life is my salvation, the salvation of others, and being in relationship with God and people. I work at a bar because, in America (and most of the world), that's where hurting people go. That's where the weak and the poor go. That's where desperate, sad, lost, and depressed people go. And they are who Christ challenges us to be a servant to and a bringer of the Good News to!
And that's what I did last night. I listened and I shared my faith with him. I saw him again tonight (at work) and he admitted he had too much to drink last night, but the last thing he remembered was having a deep, meaningful conversation with me. He spoke of it like he hasn't had a mature conversation in years. he told me that he went home before 1am and stayed up till 3-4am thinking about our conversation. he admitted to me (the night before) that he never told anybody some of the stuff he told me, and I just hope that means he trusts me enough to open up again sometime. And if God is willing, this man will be given faith to believe in the gospel message and he will choose to leave behind his hurt and pain, that he so desperately clings to, and find peace, hope, and love. I hope he chooses Christ. I hope he chooses LIFE!
And yes, my personal posts usually are THIS long.
Last night (Sunday, 15-Feb '09) I worked my shift at the Boxcar Alehouse as usual till about 11pm or so. I joined some friends playing wii and drinking beer, and we had a good time. Around midnight, I was casually chatting with a guy who I've only known for about a month. it happened very naturally, and I'm not even sure how, but as we were talking this guy started opening up (he'd had a bit to drink, so that helps) and he shared really personal things about his life. Now, I could've broken the conversation and played wii, but for God's sake I wanted to listen to him talk.
I remembered, then, why I took this job, working at a bar, and it has nothing to do with selling booze or being around "sin" or having fun without God (like some people assume or accuse me of). I took this job so I could be among sinners without a Savior, so I could be a beacon of light and truth as Christ calls us to be in the gospels, so maybe - JUST MAYBE - some might be saved. What really matters in life is my salvation, the salvation of others, and being in relationship with God and people. I work at a bar because, in America (and most of the world), that's where hurting people go. That's where the weak and the poor go. That's where desperate, sad, lost, and depressed people go. And they are who Christ challenges us to be a servant to and a bringer of the Good News to!
And that's what I did last night. I listened and I shared my faith with him. I saw him again tonight (at work) and he admitted he had too much to drink last night, but the last thing he remembered was having a deep, meaningful conversation with me. He spoke of it like he hasn't had a mature conversation in years. he told me that he went home before 1am and stayed up till 3-4am thinking about our conversation. he admitted to me (the night before) that he never told anybody some of the stuff he told me, and I just hope that means he trusts me enough to open up again sometime. And if God is willing, this man will be given faith to believe in the gospel message and he will choose to leave behind his hurt and pain, that he so desperately clings to, and find peace, hope, and love. I hope he chooses Christ. I hope he chooses LIFE!
And yes, my personal posts usually are THIS long.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Getting stuff done
I consider myself a procrastinator and a pessimist (obviously I'm a pessimist since I only pointed out that negative things). Point being, I actually did my taxes early this year! got 'em done yesterday. Feels good, since I didn't owe anything but managed to squeak out a tiny +$47 from the fed.
And I finished my homework early today (just now) instead of finishing at 1 or 2 in the morning like usual. I had to skip some classes to do it, but it was worth it. Sometimes I think I'm a good student for going to all my classes regularly, but as long as I turn stuff in and take tests well, is it really necessary? I usually put off my homework, because just listening and learning in class is enough stress and i'm usually sick of the subject by the end. By skipping class, I can just do my homework and study as I go, which is working out better for me since I learn better by processing textbook info than by professors speeding through it. Unfortunately when you have a poor textbook, its a lot harder (see my textbook blog).
As it turns out though, skipping class once or twice a week is contributing to greater health and productivity, so why should I make myself go so i can feel like a good student.
Now, if I can just get my power supplies to work for my senior design ...
And I finished my homework early today (just now) instead of finishing at 1 or 2 in the morning like usual. I had to skip some classes to do it, but it was worth it. Sometimes I think I'm a good student for going to all my classes regularly, but as long as I turn stuff in and take tests well, is it really necessary? I usually put off my homework, because just listening and learning in class is enough stress and i'm usually sick of the subject by the end. By skipping class, I can just do my homework and study as I go, which is working out better for me since I learn better by processing textbook info than by professors speeding through it. Unfortunately when you have a poor textbook, its a lot harder (see my textbook blog).
As it turns out though, skipping class once or twice a week is contributing to greater health and productivity, so why should I make myself go so i can feel like a good student.
Now, if I can just get my power supplies to work for my senior design ...
Textbooks
I was talking with one of my professors a couple months ago who's now on sabbatical, during which he plans to write a textbook. Why are textbooks usually so poorly written? He says there isn't much/any money in it, so most people just don't try - not worth the effort.
I gotta tell ya though, my electromagnetics textbook - aweful. According to the professors at SPU, it's the textbook for electromagnetics, but the author never explains or connects anything whereby we could actually learn how electromagnetics work. Everything once covered is assumed to be immediately understood and applicable in any and every way with no explanation within the chapter. Assuming even we could do this, the problems in the book stretch beyond the scope of the chapter, and even the entire book, making it extremely difficult to know or even have any idea of what the author is expecting as an answer.
I have a solutions manual, and even that doesn't clearly depict what is being done; the solutions don't match up or make sense with anything in the text. Textbooks are frustrating and people lacking the ability to teach shouldn't be allowed to write.
I gotta tell ya though, my electromagnetics textbook - aweful. According to the professors at SPU, it's the textbook for electromagnetics, but the author never explains or connects anything whereby we could actually learn how electromagnetics work. Everything once covered is assumed to be immediately understood and applicable in any and every way with no explanation within the chapter. Assuming even we could do this, the problems in the book stretch beyond the scope of the chapter, and even the entire book, making it extremely difficult to know or even have any idea of what the author is expecting as an answer.
I have a solutions manual, and even that doesn't clearly depict what is being done; the solutions don't match up or make sense with anything in the text. Textbooks are frustrating and people lacking the ability to teach shouldn't be allowed to write.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Thoughts and feelings
I was wondering today, do I reveal too much of myself or my life to my friends and the people around me? I usually take pride in that I'm an open book. I share with anyone who wants to hear what's going on in my life. In my mind, this is usually an attempt to get other people to open up. I usually follow up my comments with questions to them and hope they share, but almost everyone i talk to prefers not to say much. Most people don't want to open up about who they are, or some of them just don't want to talk about their day. I like telling people about the idiosyncrasies of my day, I think it makes life interesting and I can usually make them into fun or funny stories. But I don't really find other people doing this. Why is that? I'd like to hear more people talk about the little things that happened in their day without needing to pound it out of 'em (which I don't actually do).
Along that same line of thinking, you know that feeling you get when you have a "secret" and it feels pretty cool to have that little gem to yourself? What if people don't want to share those little things about their day because they would lose that feeling, like it was a unique experience just for them? I wonder if I'm missing out on that. Am I so transparent and revealing that I no longer have things in my life that are truly my own, but instead my life belongs to everybody?
Along that same line of thinking, you know that feeling you get when you have a "secret" and it feels pretty cool to have that little gem to yourself? What if people don't want to share those little things about their day because they would lose that feeling, like it was a unique experience just for them? I wonder if I'm missing out on that. Am I so transparent and revealing that I no longer have things in my life that are truly my own, but instead my life belongs to everybody?
Life
For the past few days I've been wondering to myself - why do I get up everyday? What do I live for? I find these question necessary to ask on a semi-regular basis to keep me grounded in my faith and see if there's anything else creeping into my life to take me away from God. I am deeply rooted in my faith and I know nothing can separate me from my Savior, but I don't think I'm giving him what I should.
School is piling on more work than I can handle. it's actually come to the point where I'm skipping class to make time for more homework. I enjoy the Christian Theology class I'm taking. My professor asked me to speak to the class today for a few minutes about my belief in open theism (the belief that God doesn't possess knowledge of a single, set future, but of an infinite possibility of futures we collaborate on to create). I don't give that class much of my time though. I spend most of my time studying Electromagnetics, Optics-&-Lasers, and my senior design project. I have to admit, I'm getting pretty tired of all three.
School is piling on more work than I can handle. it's actually come to the point where I'm skipping class to make time for more homework. I enjoy the Christian Theology class I'm taking. My professor asked me to speak to the class today for a few minutes about my belief in open theism (the belief that God doesn't possess knowledge of a single, set future, but of an infinite possibility of futures we collaborate on to create). I don't give that class much of my time though. I spend most of my time studying Electromagnetics, Optics-&-Lasers, and my senior design project. I have to admit, I'm getting pretty tired of all three.
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